blog1996poetry

This is some of the poetry that was written in a confusing, playful and angry time of my teen years. Some of these were written by me and some by my best friend at the time.

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The cat ponders on the dogs thoughts

Not knowing a single thing in mind

Days and nights flying like stars

What is he thinking... feeling... Damn it!

I stood looking you straight in the eye

I can't read you

who'd figure but the mice in the corner

Looking down from the porch

I've gone insane from thinking about

everything as nothing all at once

I;ve seen the dog that passed my side

I've felt the dog that knocked me over

I've heard the dog that chased me

around my mind

I've thought nothing of those nasty,

ungrateful piece of shit dogs

I've chased the mice away

and now I lay on the grass

in deep confusion of realities relationships.

~ March 1996

That name I come in contact with

is every feeling and emotion to me

This sensation and uncoordination of kindness

brings all the world to come and be

Don't gloat and brag about the guys you saw

beyond my eyes, only Jason I can see

There is a lock to my inner being

and only he can posseess the key.

~ June 8, 1996

I come across strong

that's what people believe

it's time that I long

for what I perceive.

I look too low of myself

I need to reach up

I don't believe I can

I don't think I should.

Stabbed in the back

Mistakes pointed out

everything wrong

nothing can be right.

Acknowledge the world

Understand the people

Disregard the government

teach the unexperienced.

Changing myself will soon change the world.

~ 1996

I don't know what I'm feeling

I don't know what I'm thinking.

My Anger was triggered

Aimed and painly fired.

I didn't hit a single thing

I didn't say a single word.

I sat in hatred all alone

My anger hidden although shown.

I'm afraid to let it go

but I can no longer keeep it in.

Please stay away from the action in me

For I can't guarantee what they'd be.

Unfortunately you don't appear

I'm not quite all together here.

The only way to release my pain

Is hurtful when you're sain.

Feeling has no meaning

When your as angry as I.

Put two and two together

If only asking myself why.

The bleeding and bruising has to much to say

I no longer ask to hear that way.

The scars that are left behind

Ask only of your right-side mind.

Give me advice & Stand by my side

With the help that I have, I won't have to hide.

~ 1996

I understand her point of view

I know how she feels when she thinks of you.

I try to think of how you feel

All I come up with seems unreal.

If only I could help you out

So you'd understand what she's all about.

I know you'd love her as I do

but in the end, it's up to you.

She's much more beautiful, then you know

look again, it's all a show.

She knows a lot, she's really smart

She'd be really careful with your heart.

Take my word, I won't let you down

You won't regret it when she's around.

~ 1996

The death of your drinking comes all so natural

The depression it brings is that of an emotional disorder

Your tears are useless in a glass of wine

but are there for the reasons of taste

Can you taste it?

Can you taste the death that awaits you?

It will flash upon your eyes

like the meaning of a picture

To wait for an explanation

is to say that one is to come

but lying with a bottle in hand

till that day comes

may be your last before the sun sets

The tears are gone before the glass dries up

Your heart has drowned

and your mind goes clear

You see darkness...

You feel nothing...

You taste death...

You smell bitterness...

the last sounds you'll ever hear

is that of your empty glass

falling to the floor

shattering upon you feet

All is gone

You are gone

Upon the sadness, the sun rises...

I ask myself in self-righteous pity

Why you did this to me?

I guess I will never know.

~ Nov 8, 1996

Your swinging laid back style

attracts the girls with no hesitations

They love the chilling sweetness

and the friendly conversations.

The beautiful smile you possess

catches the eye of a stranger

but the build of your body brings

a taste of hardcore danger.

Your talents in football

are so lavable

Your school boy appearance

is just too adorable.

Peacefulness rests upon

your personality true

Put two and two together

you get the perfect you.

As sane as can be

I ponder why you're here

The anger I once witnessed

brings a lonely tear.

If only you shared these emotions

would we be able to share our comfort

Live your hopes and dreams

although, with this, they're short.

You told me once or twice

some things you've done before

with these limits I want to help

if only I could do more.

There's certain things that holds one's trust

but questioning everything that may come

carries a waist of a clicking clock

that sings the truth in a quiet hum.

It's all together that you'll never see

but open your eyes to everything

If only you knew how much we care

with your place in life no longer to dare.

~ Nov 23, 1996

You always know how to make me smile

but somehow I'm always crying.

I try to seem like I'm okay

but the truth is inside I'm dying.

I wish you'd try to understand

but all I need is one more chance.

A chance to prove that I'll be true

true to us... and true to you.

~ Dec 1996

What if suddenly, my curly brown locks

turned a shimmering blond

like the warm rays of the sun?

What if in an instant my golden brown eyes

turned crystal clear

like the ocean of a dream island?

What if magically my pale, dry lips

became red and shiney

like a burning red rose?

What if God was watching

and looked upon me weeping

and gave me a body fit for a Goddess?

What if I was beautiful,

then would you love me?

~ Dec 26, 1996